The Lane Fulcrum Story...

I would like to begin this, my first and therefore most important blog entry with a simple answer to my recent detractor(s).
First of all I have NOT been making any efforts to quell the creativity and/or productivity of the Walk! team, in fact quite the contrary.
Perhaps some of you from whom I have received irksome emails would like to direct similar lines of questioning at my "partner" (and it should be noted "ward" for the summer) Scott Richardson. If you need some inspiration let me get you all started (especially walkfannyc634@gmail.com)

Dear Scott Richardson, where are the interviews with and/or correspondence from the new Lane Contacts you made several weeks ago?
Where are the new developments in your Lane Fulcrum Research?
Why have you left us all in the dark?
Why do you always leave they toilet lid open and furthermore why can’t you simply put the dishes into the dishwasher? That’s what it’s there for! You’ve gone to the trouble of scraping the plate clean, what is it about that final step (actually opening the door and racking your plates, glasses and silverware) that continuously eludes you? Answer me that!
Now to the point at hand.

As the director of this theatrical endeavor I feel it is my duty to maintain control over our audiences entire experience of Walk! with Gregory Deetz and Muffy LaGuardia. I realize that I may be a bit over-zealous at times, but it is vital to the preservation of the unique cathartic experience of our piece. For these reasons I have spent several weeks withholding the final installment of the very exhilarating interview with Gregory and Muffy. And I will be straightforward with you all, dear readers, I WILL NOT be publishing Scott R’s transcript UNEDITED. I will have to excerpt some of the materials in order to preserve the dramatic ark of our walking performance; and what remains of the transcript will be published piece by piece over the next couple of weeks, as teasers for our potential audience. I hope you enjoy!

Now, I am not the type of person who believes in prophecy and divination or any of that sort of malarkey, but I do predict that every nay-sayer, detractor and "The Scott"-basher will eat their words when they realize the incredible care, insight and creative genius I have bestowed upon this project and the integrity of it’s unique artistic experience.

Enough from me. You’re here for information. Read on dear fan(s)!
For the sake of clarity I have typed all of my DELETIONS, EDITIONS and ADDITIONS in capitals.


With tea service complete and our systems recharged we settled in to...
SCOTT RICHARDSON STARTED THIS INSTALLMENT WITH ANOTHER ONE OF HIS HOKEY "SPIRITUAL AWAKENING, CONSCIOUSNESS EXPANDING, LIFE CHANGING" EDITORIAL INTRODUCTIONS. FOR THE SAKE OF TIME, SPACE AND SIMPLE JOURNALISTIC OBJECTIVITY I’VE DELETED MOST OF HIS OPINING, HERE AND THROUGHOUT. IT IS MY GOAL THAT THIS INSTALMENT BE FACTUAL AND I DARE SAY EASIER TO READ.
We communed.. (WHO "COMMUNES"?) ...as our conversation turned to the biography of ...(MORE EDITORIALIZING)... Lane Fulcrum. I, for one, was on the edge of my seat. (COME ON!)

SR: What do you know about Lane’s... childhood? It seems funny now that I ask. I guess, because the mental image I’ve created of him is difficult to imagine as a child at all.
ML: That’s not uncommon Scott.
GD: And even as a child, Lane wasn’t child-like.
ML: Oh no...
GD: He came into this world searching.
ML: And he had to grow up quickly-
SR: Are there no photos of him at all?
GD: Oh no, no-
ML: He would never allow such a thing.
GD: Lane was against the very concept of ownership and to him a photo was like owning a piece of him.
SR: Even as a child-
ML: Well it was part of the philosophy and spirituality he developed when he sought out his Native American roots.
SR: Right-
GD: And they never had photos at the orphanage-
ML: -It just wasn’t in the budget.
SR: I see...

ONCE AGAIN I’VE TAKEN THE LIBERTY OF EXCERPTING A VERY "MEANINGFUL" PARAGRAPH FROM OUR PROSE-HOUND SCOTT RICHARDSON. TRUST ME, YOU’RE WELCOME!

SR: So Lane was left at an orphenage?
ML: Yes Lane spent his entire youth in a rough home for foundlings in Broolyn-
GD: -Iowa.
SR: I wasn’t even aware that there was a Brooklyn, Iowa.
ML: Oh, yes, it’s a very small town.
GD: In the middle of the great plains.
SR: Huh...

There was a momentary lull as I think I perceived my hosts to ponder... I LEFT THIS ONE IN JUST TO SERVE AS A REMINDER THAT I’VE BEEN DOING YOU ALL A FAVOR ...perhaps, muse on the great expanses of the mid-western United States.

SR: Is there anything at all known about Lane’s heritage?
ML: Oh sure-
GD: A little.
SR: Were his parents killed?
ML: Yes-
GD: Actually they were on the lam-
ML: From a death threat-
SR: I see. Fascinating-
("FASCINATING!")
SR: (Continued) - so his parents-
ML: Eleanor and-
GD:-Magnus
SR: ...Eleanor
ML: -nee Blackstone.
SR: and Magnus-
ML: Actually R. Magnus-
SR: R. Magnus Fulcrum were "on the lam" you say?
GD: There was a death threat.
SR: Wow...
ML: Eleanor was actually the sole heir to the Blackstone’s Magic™ empire.
GD: but she loathed the family business, in fact her only documented performance of a parlor magic trick was-
ML:-at the Manhattan Yacht Club. Where- after interrupting a fiercely contested game of straight billiards between two of New York’s most eligible bachelor’s, Eleanor perfectly executed a double-blind-cross-fan and "disappeared" the only cue ball in the room. The more notable "trick" of the night, however, was the double-snaring of the long-coveted affections of both players R. Magnus Fulcrum and Jonas Smythe-Hutchinson.
SR: Charming!
(PLEASE IMAGINE MY SARCASM... "CHAAAARRRRMMMINNNGGG!")
SR: Of course she married R. Magnus-
ML: Though not without entertaining proposals from both men.
GD: Which infuriated-
ML: Everyone.
GD: So after they married Jonas swore out a bounty on their heads and they fled the city.
SR: How exciting!

STAY TUNED FOR MORE OF THE LANE FULCRUM STORY.